The Marriage Debate from God’s Perspective [A]

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If y’all will turn with me to Romans chapter 1 this morning, I want to speak to you on the subject of marriage. And just to preface it, and this is true anytime I open God’s Word and share it with you, but I feel the particular need to preface in this way this morning and say, if anybody, whether in this room or outside of this room, is offended by the truth of God’s Word, that’s really not my problem. However, however, not only this morning, but anytime, it’s never my intent to be maliciously offensive on purpose.

And so I hope that you’ll take the things that are said this morning in that spirit that I try very hard to discern from God’s word what his truth is rather than just offend with my opinions. But it’s become a topic that has captivated the nation, it seems, in the last several years, but in particular the last few weeks, as the Supreme Court has taken up the subject of marriage. And I thought about several weeks ago preaching on this subject, but I wanted to wait on purpose to gather my thoughts a little bit and also to let some of the emotion subside as things were coming to a head.

And the world expects us, the world expects a church like ours and expects me as a pastor and expects us as Christians to be opposed to same-sex marriage for a couple of reasons. Now, they expect us to oppose same-sex marriage because we hate gay people. I don’t know about you, but I can honestly tell you that’s not the case as far as I’m concerned.

I’ve worked with them. I’ve gone to school with them. I’ve had several over to my house for dinner or to dinner.

I should say not for dinner. And I’m sure they would tell you. I’m sorry, I got on to my wife last week telling her, it’s rude to invite people over for dinner.

We should invite them to dinner. And then, yeah, there I did the same thing. But I think they would tell you that I treated them the same way I would treat anybody else.

And I can honestly tell you, whether you believe me or not, I have no hate in my heart for anybody, at least of all the homosexuals. And the second reason they expect us to preach against same-sex marriage or homosexuality in general is because they think that we just want a theocracy. We want the church in control of the government.

We want to push our religious beliefs. Folks, I do want to push my religious beliefs. I want to tell everybody about Jesus Christ. But as far as a theocracy, that terrifies me as much as anybody else.

You see, the issue for me is not about, they’ll tell us we oppress people by not allowing them the equality to marry. But I say people are oppressed when we give government unlimited power to change our reality. And make no mistake, this debate is about the ability, the power of government to redefine words and redefine language.

And a government that can redefine language is a government with unlimited power. A government that can take something and say, we don’t care what’s been for 6,000 years. This is now marriage, too, is a government that can take a triangle and declare it a circle just by legislation.

But it doesn’t matter what the government ever calls it. It’s still a triangle. A government that can change definitions and change language could change the meaning of the word parent to mean somebody who just raises children on behalf of the government.

And by the way, if they ever enact that definition, you will see me on the news. Because when people try to tell me that child doesn’t belong to you, I just lose it. I get that from my parents.

They could redefine terrorists, and there’s already been some effort on that front. There’s a report that came out from the Department of Homeland Security, or for the Department of Homeland Security, within the last few years, that said Christians, social conservatives, right-wingers, people who oppose abortion, homeschoolers, veterans, these people are potential terrorists. So basically people like us.

Yeah, basically people like us. And I’ve noticed here on Law and Order, it seems like a lot more of the villains are the Christians and the homeschoolers and the conservatives. Anyway, folks, for me, it is not about oppressing anybody by not affording them equality.

It’s about not oppressing the people by giving government unlimited power to change the meaning of words, to change the meaning of institutions, and to try to force our reality to conform to what somebody in Washington or somebody in Hollywood thinks is appropriate. Folks, this is not about oppressing anybody. But that’s what they, again, the reason I tell you this is not just to spread my opinion.

That part is my opinion. My reason for telling you this is because I want to try, if I can, to dispel the myth that that’s the reason we oppose same-sex marriage. Folks, I oppose it, and I oppose homosexuality for one reason, and one reason only, because of what God’s Word says.

And today in Romans chapter 1, I want us to look at what God’s Word says about this. And some of it I think you’re going to be right on board with, and some of it may be a little hard for you to swallow, but I hope you’ll see that it comes from God’s Word, and not just my opinion, and I hope we’ll be on board with it together. Romans chapter 1, starting in verse 14, says, I am debtor both to the Greeks and to the barbarians, both to the wise and to the unwise.

So as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith, as it is written, the just shall live by faith.

He then turns and says in verse 18, For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who hold the truth in unrighteousness. And that word hold, we ought not to think of it as somebody who holds the truth like we try to or that’s our ideal is to cling to the truth, we hold it dear. Now in the old English usage of this word, it can also mean who withhold, who suppress the truth.

But we’ve got to make careful note that he says in verse 18, the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men. As we talk today about homosexuality, keep that in mind, that homosexuality is not the only sin God condemns, who suppress or hold the truth in unrighteousness. Verse 19, because that which may be known of God is manifest in them, for God hath showed it unto them.

What God has intended mankind to know of himself, he’s shown to us, he’s revealed to us. For the invisible things of him are from the creation of the world clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse. And the Bible talks about the light that we have by which we know God.

And we have special revelation through the Bible. But the Bible also talks about the light of creation. We can look at the world around us and infer from that that there’s a God.

Now, just from that, we can’t get saved, because just believing that there is a God is not enough to save us. But we can look around at the world around us and infer from the evidence around us that there’s a God. And I’m here to tell you the more I’ve studied, I’m no expert by any means, I’m the first to admit that, but the more I’ve studied in biology and chemistry and the complexities of the cell and atoms, and folks, the more convinced I am that there has to be a God.

Because I don’t see the, I’m too skeptical to believe that all of that happened by random chance. The Bible talks about the light of conscience and the law of God being engraved on the human heart. And people, even in places that have never heard of Jesus Christ, still know it’s wrong to murder.

Still know it’s wrong to steal. Still know it’s wrong to commit adultery. Still know it’s wrong to do all of these things. Why?

Because we have the light of conscience and God’s law is written on our heart. Even that, though, is not enough to save us. That should just tell us we need a Savior.

We also have the light of Christ through which God ultimately revealed himself. Because the Bible says no man has seen God at any time, meaning nobody has seen the Father at any time, but the Son has revealed him. The Son has shown us what the Father is like and who He is.

And God has demonstrated Himself in these ways to mankind, even His eternal power and Godhead, according to verse 19, or excuse me, verse 20, so that they are without excuse. Folks, even people who’ve never known about Jesus Christ still have enough evidence to conclude that there’s a God and that they’ve sinned against Him and fallen short of His glory. So that when we stand before God in judgment, folks, we’re all without excuse.

I’ve never heard of Jesus is not an excuse. That’s why it’s so important that we take the gospel to the ends of the earth, that everybody had the opportunity to hear about Christ. He says in verse 21, because that when they knew God, when God had revealed himself to them, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God and neither were thankful. So what mankind does know of God, they reject by and large, and are not thankful to him, do not worship him, but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Spiritually, when man rejected what he knew of God, he was darkened, the Bible says. His heart was darkened. He became unable to discern spiritual things.

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. And as people wander further and further away from God, the more their wisdom appears to be foolish. I look at the Soviet Union and a lot of other places, really, as examples of this.

They tried to promote through the state the concept of atheism. So that was the official religion of the Soviet state was atheism, and tried to promote this. And folks, even as they did, they had wonderful wisdom.

They made strides in science and technology and innovation, and yet their regime was just as corrupt as it could be. They murdered their own people. They did incredibly foolish, wicked things.

See, foolish in the Bible doesn’t always just mean silly and lighthearted. It means foolish as in it is foolish to act as though there’s no God when there’s a judgment coming. That is ridiculous behavior.

And so when the Bible says that professing themselves to become wise, they became fools, it doesn’t mean that everybody who rejects God is stupid. Far from it. It means they do ridiculous things in light of the fact that there is a God who stands as the righteous judge of all mankind.

That it’s ridiculous to act as though there’s not. You know, sometimes when bills come in, I don’t want to open them. I guess I’m of the thought that they’ll go away if I don’t open them.

Folks, they never go away. And it’s foolish for me to do that. I’ve stopped doing that, by the way, because then I’ll forget about them.

Y’all wouldn’t believe I’d forget something, would you? I’ll forget about them and get into all sorts of trouble. But folks, just choosing not to deal with God and acting like he’s not there doesn’t mean he’s not there.

And so in spite of all their wisdom, they became fools and changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man and to birds and four-footed beasts and creeping things. Now it goes on in verse 25 later to say that they worshipped creature more than the creator. And this ties in with verse 23.

The people many centuries ago, instead of worshiping God with what they knew of God, instead of worshiping him, they’d reject God and they’d worship gods of their own design. And that meant statues a lot of times. We’ll make a statue of this bird God.

We’ll make a statue of the snake God. Why anybody would want a snake God, I can’t imagine. But we’ll make a statue of the sun God.

We’ll make a statue of Baal. We’ll worship this tree, and they worshipped the creature instead of the creator. Ladies and gentlemen, that is still going on. People may not bow down to statues anymore, but we as a human race are still worshipping the creature instead of the creator.

We worship ourselves and say, I want to be on the throne in my life. We worship other people. Try to tell me people don’t practice idolatry anymore.

What is up with people’s obsession with the Kardashians? What is up with people’s obsession with NFL players and pop stars. Folks, make no mistake, we still worship false gods and we still worship idols.

They just look more like Hollywood and Nashville now than they look like the snake god. And whether it’s worshiping self, whether it’s worshiping nature, whether it’s worshiping the things in nature, whether it’s worshiping stuff, it was all created by God and we’re worshiping the creature instead of the creator. And so they changed the glory of God, of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man and to birds and to four-footed beasts and creeping things.

One of my favorite sayings is that in the beginning God created man and ever since man has been returning the favor. I’m sorry, I left part of that out, didn’t I? God created man in his own image and ever since man’s been returning the favor.

Ever since we’ve been trying to remake God and our ideas of God after our own selves and after our own desires instead of submitting to his. As a result of this, it says, The end of this, ladies and gentlemen, was sexual immorality. The reason he gives this description here is because even today, even in a society where that still goes on, we recognize it’s a no-no. Even people who participate in those things look at us as Christians, and especially when a televangelist gets caught in positions he’s not supposed to be in, the world looks at and says, no, you’re not supposed to do that.

See, even if they’re involved, they recognize we’re not supposed to, because we serve God or profess to. And so as they drifted further and further from God and cared less and less for spiritual things, the sin and the wickedness took over to such an extent that they were involving themselves in unimaginable forms of wickedness. Who changed the truth of God into a lie, again, still doing that, and worshiped and served the creature more than the creator who is blessed forever.

Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections, For even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature, and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the women, burned in their lusts toward one another, men with men, working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves the recompense of their error, which was meat. And folks, I don’t intend to go into any kind of graphic descriptions, but there are people who would tell us that the Bible doesn’t ever mention homosexuality.

I can’t imagine what they think that passage means. That in the depths of their depravity and sexual immorality, even the women turned and went after each other, so to speak, and the men likewise did the same thing. And the Bible says they received in themselves that recompense of their error, which was meat.

In other words, there were consequences for their sins. And ladies and gentlemen, there are still, not just for homosexuality, but for all sin, there are still consequences for sins today. There always have been and there always will be.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind to do those things which are not convenient. which are not fitting, which are not seemly, which are not appropriate. So as mankind wandered farther and farther away from God, it says they did not like to retain God in their own image.

Now, I know there are people with scientific and philosophical reasons for not believing in God or not believing in Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Not necessarily what I’m talking about, but you sometimes can find people who are honest enough to admit when they say, I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in Christianity, I don’t believe in the Bible, and you ask them why? Sometimes you can find people honest enough to answer because it has something to do with their lifestyle or some sort of sin that they don’t want to let go of.

Which if you believe in Jesus Christ, if you believe in the God of the Bible, you have to take seriously what he says about sin. And if you have to take seriously what he says about sin, it should make some changes in the way we live our lives. Folks, even as believers this morning, I’m not involved in any of the physical immorality he talks about in here, but I still sin against God.

You know what? If I believe what God says in his word about sin, If I take God seriously, it needs to lead to changes regularly. When God points out a sin and says, what you did there was just wrong, I need to take that seriously.

He says they did not like to retain God in their knowledge. They disbelieved God and they rejected Him not because He didn’t exist, not because of the arguments, but because they didn’t want to believe Him. So God gave them over to a reprobate mind.

God said, fine, if that’s the way you want to do things, have at it. And if you’ll recall back to, it may have been a year ago now, when I talked about discerning the will of God, and God’s permissive will. God sometimes allows things to happen.

Doesn’t mean he caused it. Doesn’t mean it’s what he wants. But for a while, God will loosen the leash, so to speak, and let man go and say, all right, thy will be done.

You can go this far, and that’s as far. God gave them over to this reprobate mind. God said, if you want to run wild, have at it.

I’m not going to stop you. I’m not going to punish you yet, yet. And so man in this reprobate, this depraved mind, did things that were not convenient.

It says here in verse 29, Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity, whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful. And folks, the reason I said earlier that part of this might be hard for you to swallow is not the part about homosexuality being wrong, but the part about that not being the only sin there is.

And a lot of times, well, I have heard people rightly accuse Christians of hypocrisy in this matter because they talk about homosexuality, we preach about homosexuality, and it’s almost as though Christians by and large have gotten together and decided that that’s the only sin that counts because that’s the sin that most of us aren’t engaged in. But if you look at this list, I think probably each of us could pick something off this list and say, yeah, that’s me. I’m right there.

Verse 29, verse 30, that’s, yeah, that’s me, guilty. Folks, we do a disservice not only to God’s word, but to the homosexual as well. When we treat them like yours is the only sin that’s wrong.

Folks, we should at least be transparent enough and have enough integrity to say all sin is wrong. And we’re going to preach against all sin. And we’re going to avoid all sin as much as we can.

We’re going to confess all sin. We’re going to repent of all sin and not treat it like some are okay and some are not. It says in verse 32, who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things.

Folks, I want you, if you’re not looking at your Bible, if you’re just looking at me, I want you to look down at verse 32 and see that I’m not the one saying this. This is God’s word. Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death.

Not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. So the Bible says all these things, homosexuality and all these other sins, says those who do them and those who take pleasure in others doing them are worthy of death. And no, again, I’m not pushing for a theocracy and saying we should stone sinners in the street.

Nowhere are we given that mandate in the New Testament. But the fact is, all sinners are worthy of death. And that’s exactly what we’re going to get.

The Bible doesn’t say we have to stone sinners in the street. The Bible doesn’t say we have to behead them and shout, God is great when somebody does something wrong. Folks, death comes to each of us, 100% of us.

We all, as the Bible says, receive in ourselves the recompense of our error, the payment, the consequence of our sin, which is fitting, the recompense of our error, which is meat. But the problem here, ladies and gentlemen, the problem here in this chapter, and the problem with man began when we rejected, when man rejected God’s will and God’s ideas about righteousness. As we discuss the topic of marriage, then we’ve got to start out with what is God’s ideal. And Christians need to, the first blank in your bulletin, if you’re following along, Christians need to adhere to God’s perspective on marriage.

See, the problem was in verses 18, 19, and 20, when the wrath of God was revealed to mankind because man knew God, man knew God’s standards, and yet man chose to reject those standards. Folks, the world will try to tell us that it’s okay to reject God’s standards. It doesn’t matter what God’s Word says.

Folks, nothing matters more than what God’s Word says on any subject, on any subject. And when we find our behavior, when we find our thinking is not in line with God’s word, it is not God’s word that needs to change. It’s us.

When we find that our society is not in line with God’s word, it’s not God’s word that needs to change. It’s our society. And again, I’m not proposing we do that by force of government, but by preaching the gospel and making disciples.

Christians need to adhere to God’s perspective on everything. And in this case, that would be marriage. So what is God’s perspective on marriage?

I’m going to take you through a few verses this morning, just very quickly. If you don’t have time to turn there, I’ve given you on the insert in your bulletin, the scripture references, and I hope you’ll look them up later and read them for yourself. But first of all, God’s perspective on marriage is that it was instituted by God.

Folks, it was instituted by God. It’s not something that we made up, and I’d submit to you as something we didn’t make up. It’s not something we have the right to fool with either.

It was instituted by God. Genesis chapter 1, verse 18 says, And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I can attest to that, having been at camp when men and women are separated and in different dorms, and the men just kind of run amok and just, well, ladies, you wouldn’t like it.

It’s not good for the man to be alone, and God saw that. I will make him a helpmeet for him. Verse 21 says, And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof, and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man.

He made a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Folks, that was always God’s design. Now, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you if you’re single.

I’ll refer you to the Apostle Paul later in what he wrote. But marriage was designed by God. It was instituted by God.

It’s God’s institution, God’s design, and he gets to set the parameters of it. God invented the game, he gets to write the rules. And one of those things is that it’s between one man and one woman.

It is between one man and one woman. Later in Genesis, excuse me, it says, So God created man in his own image. In the image of God created he him, male and female created he them.

And God blessed them and said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. So he created man and woman and put them together. Ephesians chapter 5, referring back to this, says, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.

It is God’s design for a man and a woman to be together. Well, what about the subject of one man and one woman? Because that’s come under fire as well.

And mark my words, it will open the door. If the Supreme Court rules against Proposition 8, it will open the door eventually for polygamy and all sorts of other things. Deuteronomy 17, 17 says, Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turned not away, neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.

And here I believe he’s talking to and about a king, saying you don’t need to multiply wives to yourself. You don’t need a lot of wives. Now there were certainly men in the Old Testament who had multiple wives.

And I had a hard time yesterday in the Bible finding any place where he explicitly said, this is not anything you’re supposed to do. This is a command, don’t do it. And he doesn’t say that in black and white.

But from the other things God wrote, you know, there are certain things, excuse me, certain things God allows, but they’re not God’s best for us. And it’s clear when he tells the king, this is not good for you. And by the way, Solomon found that out.

He’s the wisest man in the world, but I could have told him that. I couldn’t handle another wife. I love my wife and I’m glad for her, but I couldn’t handle four more like her.

Y’all couldn’t either. That’s okay. She’d say the same.

She said she couldn’t handle four more of me either, I’m sure. There you go. No.

Folks, when we get to the New Testament, God also said, if you’re going to be in leadership in his church, you’d be the husband of one wife. It’s just not God’s best. It’s not God’s design. It’s not a good thing for us to have more than one wife.

His intent was always one man and one woman. Folks, it’s also a lifelong covenant. It was intended to be a lifelong covenant.

Matthew 19 says, And he answered and said unto them, Have you not read? This is Jesus speaking. Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.

Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. Yet another instance like polygamy.

God allows divorce, God allows polygamy, but it’s never been part of his plan or his design. God’s design, his best for us, his plan, not only for his glory, but for our happiness, has been one man and one woman united in a lifelong covenant. The fourth of all this morning, marriage is honorable.

It’s honorable. Hebrews chapter 13 says, marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled. It is God’s design that man and woman should be husband and wife for life and that that union should bring him honor and glory.

And folks, marriage is a precious thing. I believed that before I got married, but now I really know it. It’s a precious thing.

And even when we sometimes fuss and squabble, I love my wife and I’m thankful for her. Glad to hear that. Folks, the relationship between a husband and wife should be a place of peace and rest and love.

And it should be something that we don’t trash, something that we treat as a precious thing, something that we treat carefully and treasure because it’s a gift from God to us. And when we start messing around with God’s design and we start looking to Hollywood and say, a man and a man are going to marry, a woman and a woman, two women and a man are going to marry, a man and a goat are going to marry, or some woman’s going to marry several times in a year and just married, divorced, married, divorced, married, divorced. When we start looking at that example, folks, they are trashing the institution of marriage as God designed it.

I don’t have time this morning, unfortunately, to finish my other two points. This has been point one. And I’m not going to make you sit here for another 30 minutes while I finish this.

I hope you will be back tonight as we talk about the rest of this. But, folks, this was God’s design. This was God’s intent.

This is God’s best for us in marriage, is that it would be a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman instituted by God and honorable to Him and before Him.